I'm writing this right before Christmas, sitting pretty late at night in my childhood bedroom. This is my first real "break" since starting my doctorate, though I use the term loosely since I'm not actually taking a break. I'm currently working not only on this little blog entry, but on a seminar talk I'm supposed to give sometime in January, and on the side on my personal research topic. I'm also doing some further reading my advisor recommended. That might sound alarming to some, but honestly, I'm not sure if it is. I may be being too honest here, but I am not the hardest worker. I rarely feel exhausted or "depleted" by my current job. Not that I never get tired sometimes, but I feel like I keep my well-being and exhaustion in check pretty well. But, well, maybe a lot of people say that to themselves without recognizing their problem. ## Anyway, How Is My Promotion Going? Honestly, I don't know. I feel okay. My research is still fun. Often, I am able to investigate the questions my advisor and I come up with to some extent. I recently figured out that a proof we had used in continuous time settings also works in discrete time settings. It took me a couple of long weekends, a lot of what felt like semi-educated guessing about the discrete-time analogues, and trying to prove the theorem again until I hit a roadblock. And starting anew when I eventually did. I did that until I no longer needed to. I think my advisor was quite happy that I was able to do that. Honestly, I felt more relieved. I'm not entirely certain why I feel more relieved than happy, but maybe I will figure it out in due time. Is that a good start for a promotion? I don't know, and I won't speculate. What I will speculate on is the question, "Am I having fun?" The answer is yes, but sometimes I need to reflect to remember that. I believe there's no way to know our absolute feelings about anything. Instead, we can only judge our enjoyment of things relative to other things. While it's true that there have been unpleasant aspects of my academic career, I'm considering the alternatives. It's not even a close call. Hearing the stories my family and friends tell me about the "competitive economy" is the fastest way to make me happy not only with my choice to do this but also thankful for the opportunity I've been given here. I cannot stress that enough. I am happy with where I ended up, considering the other places I could have ended up. So yes, I am having fun. ## And What About My General Work? I think it is going quite well. I am teaching engineering students basic math long distance, and although I feel some distance from this material since it has become second nature to me, I am having fun with it. Online and distance learning present technical difficulties and lack of real contact, which hinder that feeling, but I still feel like they genuinely want to follow what I am saying. There were courses where that feeling was truly gone. During the last semester, I sometimes felt like I was collaborating with and working against ChatGPT to explain to students what the lecturer was trying to teach them. That was draining. I don't feel that way about my current students, though, which is nice. I also run a math help room once a week where anyone who wants help can get it. Although it is often "empty," in the sense that there are no questions for me, I enjoy the conversations that sometimes spark there. I also have time to work there whenever I want. Let's see how this changes during the exam period. The time slots for these jobs could be better, but overall, I'm not complaining. Next semester, I will probably be a tutor for the complex analysis course for fourth-semester mathematicians. That will be an entirely different kind of challenge, but I am looking forward to it. ## And What About Me? I suppose that's the hardest question, isn't it? I feel normal. If that makes sense. The last few years have been extremely emotionally taxing. I don't want to sound dramatic, but it was exhausting. So, for me, being "normal" — having a boring (in the best sense) relationship, consistent weekly hangouts with friends to play pool, and appreciative colleagues — feels great. I'm still debating how open I want to be about my personal feelings on this blog, so I'll leave it at that. ## So, What Are My Feelings About the Path Forward? As the year comes to an end, I find myself wondering what the next year will bring. I know it's essentially irrational; our calendar changing doesn't affect life that much. Yet, for some reason, the turn of the year has often coincided with significant life changes for me. So, just by force of habit, I am pondering. I am still in the process of pondering the coming year, so that will probably be the subject of a future blog post.