I am writing this right before Christmas, sitting pretty late at night in my childhood bedroom. This is my first real "break" since I started my promotion, but I put these in quotes since I am not really taking any break. I am currently working not only on this little blog entry, but on a seminar talk I'm supposed to give sometime in January and on the side on my personal research topic, sprinkling in some further advised reading my Advisor has given me. That might sound alarming to some, but I am really not sure if it is. I am, maybe being to honest here, not the hardest worker. I am rarely "exhausted" or "depleted" for my current job. Not that I am not tired sometimes, but I feel like I keep my well being and exhaustion in pretty good checks. But well, maybe a lot of people say that to themselves, not recognizing their problem. ## Anyway, How Is My Promotion Going? Honestly, I don't know. I feel okay. My research is still very much fun. The questions my advisor and me come up with I am often able to somewhat investigate. I recently managed to figure out hat a proof, which we had used in continuous time settings works also in discrete time settings,.It took me a couple of long weekends and a lot what feels like semi-educated guessing about what the discrete time analogous of are and trying to reprove the theorem until I hit a roadblock. And starting anew when I eventually did. Well until I did not need to anymore. My advisor was I think quite happy that I was able to do that. I felt honestly more relieved? I am not entirely certain yet on why I am feeling more a sense of relieve than direct happiness, but maybe I will in due time. But if that is a "good" start for a promotion? I don't know and I will not speculate. What I will speculate on is the question "Am I having fun?". And the answer to that is yes, but it sometimes takes reflection to be reminded of that. You see I believe that there is no way to know once absolute feeling towards pretty much anything, but instead we can really only judge our relative enjoyment of things compared to other things. So while it might be true, that there have been unfun aspects of my current academic career, and there are, I am thinking about the alternatives. And it is really not even a close call. Thinking of the stories of the "competitive economy" my family and friends tell me about is the fastest way to make me really happy about not only my choice to do this, but also incredibly thankful for the opportunity I have been given here. And I can not stress that enough. I am happy where I landed, knowing the other places I could have. So yes, I am having fun. ## And My General Work? I think it is going quite well. I am teaching long distance students for engineering basic math and although I feel some genuine distance to this material, since it has become very much second nature to me, I am having fun with them. It is online and distance so technical difficulties and no real contact hamper that feeling, but I still feel like there is genuine desire on their side to follow what I am saying. There were courses where that feeling was truly somewhat gone. During my teaching in the last semester I was genuinely feeling sometimes like I was "co and contra"-working ChatGPT when trying to explain to people what the lecturer is trying to teach them. And that was, well, draining. And I don't feel that way about my current engineers, which is nice. I am also doing like little math-help room once a week, where everyone who likes to get help will get it, and although it is often "empty", in the sense that there are no questions for me, I enjoy the conversations sometimes sparking there. Also I just have time to work there if I want to. Let's see how this changes during the exam period. I have to say, the time slots for these jobs could be a bit nice, but overall I am not complaining. I am probably going to be the tutor next semester for the complex analysis course for 4th semester mathematicians, so that will be an entirely different kind of challenge, but I am looking forward to it. ## And What About Me? I guess that is the most difficult question right. I feel "normal". If that makes sense. You see, the last years have been extremely emotionally taxing to me. I don't want to sound too dramatic, but it was exhausting. So that makes "normal", in the sense that I live in a boring (in the best sense) relationship, have consistent weekly hangouts with friends to play pool, or have appreciative colleagues, feel great. I am still debating with myself on how open I want to be about my personal feelings on this blog, so I am gonna leave it at that. ## So What's My Feeling About the Path Forward? As the year comes to an end it has become a tradition for me to wonder on what the next year will bring. I know in essence that this is irrational, our calendar changing really does not affect life that much. But for some strange reason the turn of the year has often meant big things in my life are happening. So I, just by force of habit, am pondering. But I am very much still in the process of pondering the coming year, so that will probably be future blog post.